plan B

This past Saturday, I landed on a lump of earth in the grass beside the road when I was running, my foot rolled under really hard and I broke my ankle. For anybody who’s been watching me on Twitter and Facebook the past few days, this is not news, because I’ve been bitching about it ever since. Sorry! I have also been continually attempting to figure out Plan B ever since learning that my ankle was broken and I had to use crutches to get around for at least the next month.

I’ve never used crutches before now. That hardest thing about it — and this is not something I ever considered before I was faced with it — is that it is NOT POSSIBLE to use crutches and carry anything at the same time. That one little fact has affected practically every part of my day and night. I never noticed how much crap I carried around with me from place to place until I couldn’t do it anymore. My sweet hubby hooked a cloth pouch to one crutch so I can carry my travel coffee mug, water bottle, etc., and dug out a backpack so I could put my purse and lunchbag in it to carry to work. He and the boy-child have been just wonderful, helping out and getting things for me so I don’t have to get up and down all the time.

So here are a few of the interesting things I’ve learned via my injury and the subsequent instructions for no weight bearing on that leg and using crutches:
- The ER staff are NOT KIDDING when they tell you not to go up and down steps using the crutches. Bad, bad idea.
- Going up the stairs backward on your ass with one leg in the air is great exercise for your triceps.
- When you go down the stairs on your ass (forward, because how stupid would you have to be to go backward?), your underwear will ride up, even boxer briefs, if you slide your butt instead of lifting it. Even a thong will ride up.
- Going down the stairs on your ass is easier if you slide instead of lifting.
- My purse is so big and overstuffed it barely fits in a backpack. I’m thinking it might be time to downsize…
- A plastic deck chair makes a perfect shower chair.
- Always check underneath your redneck shower chair before using it for showering, unless you want a frantic spider crawling up your thigh while you’re washing your personal areas.
- Crutches give you deltoids of steel!

As you can see, it’s been an interesting few days. I’m tired, I’m grumpy, my arms are sore and my ankle hurts like a bitch. But I’m trying my best to look on the bright side of things. I don’t need surgery, which is fantastic. I’m able to mostly go about my business, with modifications. I can’t run, but that won’t be forever. And as with any experience, I’ve learned from it, which is never a bad thing :)

Written by Ally Blue


Ally is a rich and famous author of hot gay manlove. She travels the world in her private jet, being waited on hand and foot by her team of pretty young men who bring her umbrella drinks and make out for her pleasure . . . Okay, so that's her dream life. Her novels of Manlove & Angst are mostly written in her living room, in between working at the Evil Day Job and doing Mom Stuff. Oh, the glamorous life of an author!
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"Ally Vs The Ankle Fracture" by Ally Blue was published on September 11th, 2012 and is listed in Ally Blue.

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Comments on "Ally Vs The Ankle Fracture": 2 Comments

  1. Del wrote,

    “I’ve never used crutches before now. ”

    I’m surprised; didn’t you break your foot last year? How did you manage without crutches?

    “The ER staff are NOT KIDDING when they tell you not to go up and down steps using the crutches. Bad, bad idea.”

    Heh. And yet you had Bear go up and down all those stairs to rescue Dragon… ;)

    “- When you go down the stairs on your ass (forward, because how stupid would you have to be to go backward?), your underwear will ride up, even boxer briefs, if you slide your butt instead of lifting it. Even a thong will ride up.”

    Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I LOLed :D

    “- Always check underneath your redneck shower chair before using it for showering, unless you want a frantic spider crawling up your thigh while you’re washing your personal areas.”

    AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    “- Crutches give you deltoids of steel! ”

    Ooooohhh… Interesting :D !

    My sympathies for your pain, your injury, the daily hassle, and the disappointment over the half-marathon. And you were doing so well with your training, too :/

    Oh, and thank you for the priceless kitty macro, as always ;)

  2. Ally Blue wrote,

    Hi Del! Thanks for the well-wishes :) I have to admit my very first thought when I fell and heard my ankle go pop was “CRAP how am I gonna run the half now?” Priorities, I haz em. LOL. When I broke my foot last year, the doc didn’t make stay off the foot entirely; he put me in the super-sexy Cam boot to immobilize it and let me walk and bear weight on the foot as long as I had the boot on. This time I’m in the boot PLUS crutches. Ugh.

    Leave it to Del of the Steel-Trap Mind to remember about Bear and Dragon LOL. I have to confess I’ve traversed the stairs with one crutch without any problem, using the crutch to take most of the weight off my bad foot. Using both of them, though, is a whole other kettle of fish. I found out you lose your balance very easily trying to go up or down steps using two crutches and keeping your weight off one foot. Not a good thing at all. Which is not to say some people don’t do it anyway, because people are like that, LOL, but yeah. It really is not the best idea O_O

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