writers block kitty

I always flake out on the sex scenes. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

I’ve been working on this one for days. It’s stupid. I love reading a great sex scene. So why in the name of all things unholy can I not just write one without my brain grinding to a halt the minute the pants come off? I dunno. I figure maybe it’s got something to do with the unavoidable fact that there are only so many ways to have sex. At least, that’s true as long as your characters are human and uninterested in using recreational equipment, both of which apply to nearly all my guys and definitely apply to the ones currently waiting for me to get them off already. That being the case, as a writer you eventually feel like you’re repeating yourself. I mean, yeah, your characters bring their original spin to it, with their individual personalities and the emotions between them. Still, there are only a finite number of ways to describe the physical act of sex without sounding stupid and/or hopelessly purple.

It drives me up a goddamn tree, to tell the truth. I hate feeling like I’m saying the same thing I’ve said before, but I know there’s not really any way to avoid it. So I end up flaking out on sex scenes. And this is a big, important sex scene, so I’m having a big, major flake-out. Blargh.

Vent over. Discuss among yourselves :) Also, I’m curious to know if it bothers anyone when descriptions of sex aren’t particularly varied, as long as the emotional connection between the characters is good and engaging. As a reader I have to admit I don’t notice the sex descriptions as long as the emotions are there and the descriptions aren’t just plain bad. What do y’all think?

(ironically, I sort of feel like I’ve posted on this topic before…)

Written by Ally Blue


Ally is a rich and famous author of hot gay manlove. She travels the world in her private jet, being waited on hand and foot by her team of pretty young men who bring her umbrella drinks and make out for her pleasure . . . Okay, so that's her dream life. Her novels of Manlove & Angst are mostly written in her living room, in between working at the Evil Day Job and doing Mom Stuff. Oh, the glamorous life of an author!
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"Ally Flakes Out" by Ally Blue was published on June 5th, 2012 and is listed in Ally Blue.

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Comments on "Ally Flakes Out": 6 Comments

  1. B. Snow wrote,

    I get a bit fed up with sex scenes that all seem to be the same, BUT I think that happens only when the emotional “action” ends when the sex begins. An example is when the characters work out some issue that’s been keeping them apart, then they fall into sex at the end of the story. It feels very predictable and rote and I tend to skip over those sex scenes. If you get to the happy ending in your story, just end it. I don’t need a sex scene tacked on. I guess I want more to sex scenes than just affirmation of the bond that’s already there. If you ARE going to have HEA sex, put a ton of characterization into it, make it more interesting than, “I love you!” “I love you, too!” Sweet, but boring.

    Funny timing of your post — I was just working on a sex scene before I read it, and mine was also going nowhere until I remembered where the POV character’s head is at during that particular part of the story. Suddenly the scene got a lot more interesting when he keeps telling himself that he shouldn’t be doing that, but he just keeps on doing it.

    Good luck getting rid of your blox. Maybe you can has cheezburger as a reward for getting through that scene.

  2. Ally Blue wrote,

    You make an excellent point, B. I suppose the “emotional action” (and what a great phrase!) really is what gives a sex scene its life and interest, even if there aren’t many different ways to describe how Dude 1 got his cock up Dude 2′s ass. LOL. I think I’ll keep that in mind, try to focus on the emotions and not sweat the details too much.

    Thanks for the good wishes, and the perspective :D

  3. blade wrote,

    Hi Ally……In addition to B. Snow’s “emotional action”, what works for me is when the sex scenes are extremely personalized for the characters involved….i.e. what they say to each other before/during/after sex being unique to how they’ve communicated all along (for example, a phrase you can ONLY imagine Dude 1 saying); or when the characters’ individual physical…er…attributes come into play. No, I don’t just need to be reminded how “gorgeous” Dude 2′s dick is. Frankly, I expect gorgeous dicks. LOL More along the lines of Dude 1′s long blonde hair sticking out in all directions or how Dude 2′s tattoo “dances”.

    I think you did all of this beautifully in “The Happy Onion” (one of my all-time favorites) — Phil’s accent and how it turned Thom on; Thom stroking Phil’s long, thick braid; and especially how Phil was so turned on by Thom’s hot temper. It’s these things that make their sex scenes so memorable.

  4. Z.Allora wrote,

    I usually get smashed with a hot sex scene first (okay, so maybe I’m a perv…) but I am shown the sex scenes first then I have to hang out to see who the hell the characters are & why things were played out the way they were.

    In Feb. I was hit with two lovers having sex while one was teaching the other one how to drive literally… 1st I found out they were on an estate so no chance of accident. Then I found out they were reunited after 20+ yrs & the one had promised to teach the other how to drive so for 20 yrs he waited to learn. (He lived in China so it worked) it went on from there. but it is usually sex first with me.

    Big Hugs, Z.

  5. Tara Lain wrote,

    Loved the post. I adore writing sex scenes BUT being now on book 12 i do find it challenging to find new stuff to do! I LOVE your kitty. : )

  6. Del wrote,

    Funny… I’d figured out that you put a lot more work in your sex scenes than in many other scenes, but I would never have guessed that it was because you *don’t* like writing them :P

    Personally, I’m “emotional action” all the way! What the characters are doing only matters to me insofar as it gives indications of what they are feeling. A scorching-hot sex scene can leave me completely cold if it’s just about stuff happening to bodies, while a very tame cuddling scene can totally unravel me with its emotional intensity. Mostly, though, I test sex scenes according to the same rule as other scenes: purpose. What is the purpose of that scene? How does it further the story? Would it make a difference if it were skipped altogether or only alluded to? In short: does it have a point, what is that point exactly, and does it reach it? If it doesn’t tell us anything new, then it feels gratuitous to me, and that annoys me.

    Good luck with your blox!

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