Okay, so it’s not just a pet peeve of the week. This has been peeving me for ages. In fact, I may have blogged about this before. Hmmm…
Well, if I have, that’s too bad. Y’all just get to hear about it again *g*
Awesome author A.J. Llewellyn linked an article in a style magazine recently via Twitter (yesterday, I think?) about guys borrowing their girlfriends’ makeup. The article itself was pretty innocuous. The comments? Not so much. Some of them were really, REALLY hateful. A lot of them were along the lines of “REAL MEN DON’T WEAR NO GIRLY SHIT!”
All right. That really pushed my damn buttons. It’s not just because people ought to stay the hell out of everyone else’s make-up habits (WTF is it hurting you, Macho Dude, if some other guy wants to wear make-up? Let it go! Relax. Take a Valium.) What really gets under my skin is how the make-up wearing is seen as A Bad Bad Thing for a MANLY MAN to do because it is something women do, and womanly, feminine things are BAD.
WTF IS UP WITH THAT??? Huh?? Why is being seen as even the tiniest bit feminine such an insult, not only to men, but even to women? “Pussy” is an insult. “Throwing like a girl” is an insult. In a business environment, the more “manly” clothing (dark, tailored, simple, i.e. the business suit-type) is seen as more professional than more feminine clothing.
I’m not sure I’m expressing myself well, but it really bothers me that it seems so ingrained in our society to see female-ness and traits related to it as equating to weakness. And yeah, it bugs me that so many people get their panties in a twist about guys wearing make-up O_O
Written by Ally Blue
Ally is a rich and famous author of hot gay manlove. She travels the world in her private jet, being waited on hand and foot by her team of pretty young men who bring her umbrella drinks and make out for her pleasure . . . Okay, so that's her dream life. Her novels of Manlove & Angst are mostly written in her living room, in between working at the Evil Day Job and doing Mom Stuff. Oh, the glamorous life of an author!
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Fbiki wrote,
Funny, my husband and I just had a conversation about this just the other day. Why are such insults as “throwing like a girl” used still? Such a good point. It’s just another reminder that our society has a way to go to get past some of the backward thinking that is still used.
Link | January 26th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
scspaine wrote,
My best friend and I were just having this discussion a couple days ago. Gender socialization is a pet peeve of mine and an ever interesting topic because it is at times so annoying and opinions vary so widely. I’ve never understood why so many people can only see black/white when it comes to what makes a male a man or a female a woman, when the world is big enough for grey.
As for men in make-up, as long as we aren’t talking about a pound of foundation caked on (which doesn’t look good on anyone), then I am ALLLLLL for it. Yes, please! Cosmetic products don’t have the ability to make you gay, straight, feminine or masculine. They only make you look better, or especially horrid.
Misogyny (and homophobia, obviously) is still rampant the world over. Sadly, such bigotry is even more insidiously destructive when it’s in everyday conversation.
Link | January 27th, 2010 at 9:29 am
Tam wrote,
You go girl!!! I agree. Scream like a girl, throw like a girl, it never ends. Why not scream like a wimp (boy or girl)? It is very ingrained, guys who like to shop are effeminate, unless you’re gay and then if you don’t like to shop you don’t fit the gay mold. Seems people, men and women, are damned if they do, damned if they don’t. But really, why do people care so much about what people they will likely never ever meet do? I don’t get it.
This topic reminds me of this interaction I read on “Postcards from yo momma” which is a site where people post their text/phone interactions with their Moms.
=================
Backstory: I came out to my mom this last summer and she is awfully curious when I’m going to be bringing home a boyfriend.
Mom: Adam Lambert on Oprah – He is pretty cool. I would like him to be your boyfriend. He could pay your student loans! Tweet That!
Me: Oh my goodness mom.
Mom: :-) oh come on… you know it’s a good idea. I could borrow his nail polish!
Me: You’re hilarious.
Mom: Cute boyfriends with cosmetics should be an advantage for me! Work with me!
Me: I’m all for it. Send him an email and set something up.
Mom: He should be so lucky to date you!
=======================
That’s a great Mom, she’s seeing what’s in it for her. LOL
Link | January 27th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
RedHeadedRomaceReader wrote,
As a girl that grew up in the 80s with rockers that liked big, long hair and eyeliner, I love a man with earrings and makeup. I find it sexy and cool. If my manly, man is threatened by a bit of jewelry or makeup, I question how open they are to other things and whether they can handle how open I am.
Also as a sister who has 5 younger brothers who are all very concerned about their image with mainly other men, I let them know if they are being homophobic or intolerant. If they put girls down in any way like the “throws like a girl” or “plays like a girl”, as in doesn’t play right or hard enough, I remind them that I can throw faster and harder than they can and I can whip their butts at sports even at my age, weight and fitness level. Then they shut up.
As women we need to let men know this is not acceptable or cool.
Mantra: Treat others as you want to be treated
Link | February 1st, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Ally Blue wrote,
Fbiki and scspaine, it is true, sadly. There’s still that subconscious anti-female thing going on every day. I think a lot of people just don’t even think about it :-/ Hell, I’ve been guilty of saying some of those things myself. Though I have hopefully changed my ways and don’t do it anymore!
Tam, LOL! What a great story! I’m gonna have to check out that website :D And I agree with you, why do people care so much what people they don’t know and won’t ever know do or don’t wear? So silly.
RedHead, awesome! That’s the way to smash that stereotype to tiny little pieces *g*
You know what, I suck at answering the comments to my own posts. Time just gets away from me. Sigh. Must do better…
Link | February 2nd, 2010 at 9:13 pm