And it’s all TeddyPig’s fault. Ever since he posted earlier this month about the whole safe sex (as in, all of it must BE, for some reason) in gay romance. Read it, it’s an interesting post. But, yeah, I’ve had this bug in my brain ever since, to write an HIV+ character.
Why not, right? Teddy’s right, people with HIV have happy endings in real-life romance all the time. Why not in novels? My answer to TP as to why I hadn’t written any was that I was afraid I couldn’t do it right. That I’d screw it up because I can’t really know what it’s like to be HIV+. And I’m talking mentally and emotionally here. The physical and medical part I can do. It’s that inner part, the feeling, that’s hard. But is that really a good reason not to try? The estimable Mr. Pig thinks not, and I think I agree with him.
What do you guys think? Do you think I should try it? If so, would you want to see HIV itself dealt with, like the medications and some of the resulting health problems, or just how one partner being positive affects a relationship?
BTW, I do know of one gay romance with an HIV+ character, though he doesn’t start off the book that way. Achilles’ Other Heel by Tulsa Brown, available from Torquere Press. At least I guess it’s still available. Not a sweet book, only a Happy For Now instead of a Happy Ever After, and it’s pretty damn gritty. But I thought it was a pretty damn good read.
Written by Ally Blue
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Chris wrote,
You should go for it! Teddy brought up some good points, as he always does. I’m not familiar with the story you mentioned, but Rick R. Reed’s NEG UB2 has an HIV+ character and a happy ending.
Link | November 10th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Ally Blue wrote,
OMG, I even knew about Rick’s book and totally forgot about it! Doh >_< I blame posting so close to my bedtime, sigh.
Thank you for mentioning that one, Chris. I haven’t read it (yet!) but I’ve heard a lot of great buzz :)
And thanks for weighing in! I think might really do it, once I’ve finished the current WIP and the next BCPI book, which I’ve already promised to do next, LOL. I don’t know why I keep feeling like I’m inadequate to write this sort of character. I’ve shied away from writing characters with other chronic conditions for the same reason, but maybe I’m just being cowardly O_O
Link | November 11th, 2009 at 4:34 am
Chris Muldoon wrote,
I haven’t read much with HIV+ characters. The only one I can think of just now is Second Time Around by one of my favorite authors Bobby Michaels, and the character is only temporarily positive. He does go through the gamut of emotions when he finds out, though. Also, Bobby Michaels is HIV+ himself so he could be a good resource. (Ironically, my first thought upon reading this post was that you were referring to Bobby. I first ran into him on Nifty where he wrote under the name of Rimpig.)
The TV series Queer as Folk explored many of the emotions around HIV, though. A few of the characters are positive and one of the main characters falls for a guy who’s positive. They gave us a look at what these characters were going through as well as the thoughts and emotions of family and friends. There were a few HIV-related moments (and one absolutely haunting scene) that I still remember with utter clarity though it’s been years since I’ve seen the show.
I don’t know if you do musicals, but one of the main themes of RENT is the emotions of HIV positive characters. I could go all day pointing out lines and scenes and how they evoke thought and emotion, but I’ve got loads of work to do so I’m not gonna. :)
I think you should at least try it out. If done well it could pack quite a punch. I would definitely want to see how one partner being positive affects the whole course of the relationship from courtship to HEA. Did the positive character say “let’s get a cup of coffee, oh by the way I’m positive” or did he wait until it looked like it was going to be serious before the big reveal? How much does the negative guy have to agonize over his priorities before committing himself? How much do societal pressures enter into the equation? What do the friends and family have to say about the situation? If there is a health scare and hospitalization is necessary, how is the positive character treated by health care workers? This is the kind of thing I would want to read based on my relatively average level of exposure to the subject.
Of course, I think it would be difficult to do it justice without including things like medications, doctors visits, and concerns about viral loads, T-cell counts and overall health. I imagine those would be par for the course in the life of an HIV positive individual. I also imagine that if I were to fall in love with an HIV positive guy I would want to know as much as possible about what was going on and become part of the process.
Wow…I didn’t expect to write this much. Sorry about that. I’m feeling particularly loquacious this morning. :D
Link | November 11th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Idyrrlaon wrote,
I agree with the others above…I think it’s an avenue worth exploring, and if the story doesn’t work, maybe you can mine the remains for something else. Being “scared” of a topic shouldn’t stop you from writing about it, especially if it’s something that interests you and has potential for some good characters and great plot.
I’m a fledgling writer, myself, but I’ve always found that the more you know about a topic, and the more you talk to people who have experienced something, the better armed you are to write about it. “Write about what you know”, and all, but first-hand experiences rock, and HIV isn’t nearly as horrifying today as it was 20 or 30 years ago. Yes, it’s life-altering and scary, but a lot of people live with it and have for a long time, and are in great health.
I agree with QAF…it showed both a healthy man dealing with the disease, and building a life with his new partner Michael, as well someone who dies from the disease after dealing with it for years (Vic) and a young man just coming to terms with it (Hunter). Great show, with a lot of good stuff to filch…I mean, study. :D
Link | November 11th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Chris wrote,
Or maybe you just need to think about it for a while and let it percolate. :)
Link | November 11th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
imayb1 wrote,
I immediately thought of Jim Grimsley’s Comfort and Joy, but I’d be interested to see how you’d write an HIV+ story.
Link | November 13th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Ally Blue wrote,
Thanks for the votes of confidence, y’all! And for the reading/TV recs. I think I should make this my excuse to buy all of QaF and call it research so I can take it off my taxes *g*
I’m thinking I might do this, for real. I have a few ideas. Hopefully whatever I come up with can hold its own with some of the terrific books out there :)
Link | November 15th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Erin T wrote,
I just saw this post and thought that I would let you know that I know of two short stories where one of the main characters is HIV positive. They are both by Carol Lynn, A Biker’s Vow and Eye of the Beholder. They are both positive stories about finding love and knowing that life doesn’t end with diagnosis. They don’t get into a lot of the negative aspects but focus more on acceptance and moving forward with life, not letting it hold you back from love. I think that she is able to do this as both of the characters have been living with it for several years and have gone through depression and anger and have moved on. She does go into safe sex practices, which is very important, but doesn’t say that abstinence is the only recourse. That the choice to have sex with someone who is HIV+ is something that must be handled with care and information, but can be done safely. Most stories I have heard or read of HIV+ people focus so much on the virus and how the person is dying from it. I so enjoyed reading two short stories focused on HIV positives LIVING with it and choosing to be better and stronger people for it rather than letting it “end their life”. Both of these books can be found on Total-e-Bound. I hope this was helpful.
Link | November 29th, 2009 at 9:19 am