Ally Psychoanalyzes A Classic Tune by Ally Blue

Anybody remember that old country chestnut “El Paso”, by Marty Robbins? Sure you do. It goes like this:
Emo Cowboy falls for Mexican Dancing Girl. Emo Cowboy gets jealous when Handsome Cowboy eyes up said dancing girl, and shoots Handsome Cowboy dead for having the temerity to talk to his girl (to whom Emo Cowboy has never spoken a work himself, btw; nevertheless, he luuuuuuuurves her, which means she clearly lurves him back). Well, having been FORCED to duel to the death for the sake of love (errr… did Handsome Cowboy know they were having this fight? It isn’t clear…), Emo Cowboy is now a wanted man, and must flee. However, his Deep Lurve for Mexican Dancing Girl draws him back. He can’t help himself! He must see her once more! Because she really does lurve him too, you know. Because that’s ONLY FAIR. So he goes back. The Law is waiting for him. They keep shooting him. He keeps riding to his love, and dies in her arms.

**sigh**

The above sigh is a sigh of hate. I. HATE. That. Song. So very, very much. Which is sad, really, because the music and the vocals are gorgeous. It’s the lyrics that make me want to throw things. I mean, come on. If this were a romance novel, it would be a wallbanger. If I’d written it, my editor would politely skin me alive.

BUT.

I have a theory. I think the reason why the whole thing is so over-the-top stoopid is because Emo Cowboy is in the dang closet.

Think about it. When Handsome Cowboy comes into the bar, Emo Cowboy notices him right off the bat. He describes him as “dashing and daring” and “wild as the west Texas wind” and, of course, “handsome”. Emo Cowboy gets jealous when he sees Handsome Cowboy drinking with Mexican Dancing Girl, because he wants this wild, handsome cowboy. And that pisses him off so much he shoots the guy. After that, he’s so consumed by guilt and the neverending longing for Handsome Cowboy, he convinces himself that he’s still in love with Mexican Dancing Girl and denies that he’d ever wanted Handsome Cowboy at all. But when he goes back and Mexican Dancing Girl kisses him before he dies, I bet what Emo Cowboy sees in his head is Handsome Cowboy kissing him.

Hm, I seem to have rewritten the song as well as psychoanalyzing it. Well, then. That’s okay, I think I like my version better :)
(apologies to those who are fans of “El Paso”. I can’t help it! sorry sorry sorry…)

Written by Ally Blue

Ally is a rich and famous author of hot gay manlove. She travels the world in her private jet, being waited on hand and foot by her team of pretty young men who bring her umbrella drinks and make out for her pleasure . . . Okay, so that's her dream life. Her novels of Manlove & Angst are mostly written in her living room, in between working at the Evil Day Job and doing Mom Stuff. Oh, the glamorous life of an author!
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