the magic of spell check

My computer is aware that I can’t spell masturbate.

See the “u”? I keep wanting to put an “e” there. It’s the “ur” sound; it sounds like “er,” and every time I start to get the characters into The Mood, my Word program underlines the word. I have to stop the scene and frown at it.

Character A: you could turn the grammar feature off.

me: no. Then I wouldn’t know the word was there.

Character B: you could spell check after we’re done.

me: no. Then I’d be wondering if all of the words were spelled right.

Character A: we’d tell you.

Character B: don’t we tell you when we’re going to do something that’ll alter your outline?

me: yes, but those are plot things. As figments of my imagination, I expect you to be on top–

Character A: I’m trying.

me: um . . . fictionally speaking, I expect you to be aware of the plot. Spelling? Come or cum.

Character B: I’m fine with either.

me: yeah, well, it won’t be you my editor corrects. (thinks about it) Actually, it will be you.

Eventually, I know I’ll remember how to spell the word. Keeping the grammar feature on forced me to learn to spell “unfortunately” and I know that, given time and two characters grumbling about hurrying the scene along, I’ll remember the “ur.” Ur like pur, not er like harder.

Though I imagine the characters would be fine with either as well.

Written by Luisa Prieto

Dark fantasy writer by day, dark fantasy writer by night. I'm charmingly dull that way ;)
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