The revision is creeping along. Today I cut out a witty exchange between two characters. The dialogue was great, showing what good friends they were, and how funny they could be.

It added nothing to the story, though. No tension. No foreshadowing. Nothing. 

 I celebrated this decision by whining.

me: ugh. This is taking forever.

 Jen the roommate: how far along are you?

me: I can’t tell you.

Jen: why not?

me: you’ll think I suck.

Jen: I won’t.

I tell her.

She gets up and heads for the kitchen.

Jen: I’ll make you a fresh pot of coffee. I imagine you’re going to stay up late.

me: yeah. Thanks!

As my coffee cooled, I continued working on the scene. The brilliant Barbara Campbell once read a chunk of the novel and made some very insightful comments about it. Now that the changes are in the story, it feels . . . neat. It’s a gut feeling, but the story flow feels right. This line gets cut to bring more emphasis to that line. In Character A’s intro chapter, he’s alone. In Character B’s intro chapter, he’s with friends.

I imagine that when others read the WIP, the mirroring intros and flow of the sentences won’t draw much attention. They’ll read along, pleased that I’ve cut back in my usage of “though.” As the tension rises, they’ll hopefully forget the rest of the world.

Written by Luisa Prieto


Dark fantasy writer by day, dark fantasy writer by night. I'm charmingly dull that way ;)
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"revision: week two" was published on July 26th, 2007 and is listed in L.M. Prieto.

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