I’ve decided that parking lots are really bad places for me to be. I’ve nearly been run down 4 times now by the North Texas Bluehair and just the other day I either ran into a perfume salesman or a predator, I’m not sure which, but that is a different story.
Normally, my parking lot encounters are with the North Texas Bluehair. You’ve never heard of a North Texas Bluehair? Well, let me enlighten you. They are an extremely aggressive specimen. Don’t be fooled, by the deceptively harmless façade. Even though, often times they are frail in appearance, they are, in fact, extremely dangerous.
Bluehairs are clever creatures who disguise themselves as little old ladies. You know the type, the nice sweet grannies, that bake cookies and love little children. But don’t let your guard down, as soon as these sweet little old ladies are given the keys to an SUV they become a threat to society as we know it. They turn into the dreaded North Texas Bluehair.
The first time I crossed paths with a native Bluehair I nearly lost my life. I’d just finished grocery shopping and was 3/4 the way across the main street in the parking lot of my local Walmart, the natural habitat of the North Texas Bluehair.
It was a bright sunny day. The air was warm but not hot. A soft buzz of traffic drifted on the breeze from the highway a hundred yards away. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a fast blur of red. Sensing danger, I snapped my head around.
Less than two yards away was a North Texas Bluehair in a big red SUV. I paused briefly, taking in the sight. I’d never seen a North Texas Bluehair before. She appeared quite harmless, then I noticed the glazed blank stare. Looking right past me, focused on her prey, the up-front parking spot in the next aisle over.
She came screaming around the corner, oblivious to everything but her prey.
“Oh no!” I glanced down at the cart I was pushing, then back up at the deadly Bluehair. Thinking fast, I shoved the cart forward, hoping it would hit the light pole and stop. I dove to the right of the buggy, just in the nick of time.
A horrendous screeching sound and the smell of burnt rubber filled the air. Gasps of disbelief surrounded me. My heart pounding, I looked up.
The Bluehair, peering through the glass at me only a foot away.
I stood and dusted myself off; relieved to still be alive. It was a close call. Many have perished under the wheels of a North Texas Bluehair in pursuit of her prey.
Retrieving my cart I gave a final glance back at the Bluehair, meeting her steely glare. A shiver raced up my spine at the cold calculating stare and without a word, the Bluehair sped off, once again in pursuit of her prey.
My second and third encounters weren’t nearly as memorable, but my forth meeting was with a rare mini-vanned North Texas Bluehair, but that is a story for next time. So, I leave you today with a warning. Bluehairs come in many colors, shapes and sizes, but if you get between them and their prey…you may end up dead.
Written by JL Langley
JL is a full-time writer, with over ten novels to her credit. Among her hobbies she includes reading, practicing her marksmanship (she happens to be a great shot), gardening, working out (although she despises cardio), searching for the perfect chocolate dessert (so far as she can tell ALL chocolate is perfect, but it requires more research)
Visit The Author's Website
Recent Comments